i have this devotional that i’m reading. and one day it said: “how did god pull you to himself? write out your own story as an act of praise” also when there’s a new intake in college they talk about sharing your story and how god saved you and so on. since i have been a christian as long as i can remember it is kinda hard to write about a before and after christ.. so when i read this i didn’t know what to write. then i remembered something; i have this thing that i remember feelings, when i think of a certain memory i also know how whatever happened made me feel. what’s the point? getting there.. in 2006 i suffered from a depression and the best way i can describe it is that it feels like drowning in the middle of the night. there is no storm, but still you can’t keep your head above the water. and you struggle&try, but everything is just so so hard. and it’s black. that is the worst of all. because you don’t know which way is up and which way is down.. it’s pitch black and you can’t even see your own breath in front of you. (you would be able to see it in daylight because it is also cold, but you don’t really notice because you can’t breathe..) so this is my breakthrough. this is my before&after. this is my story.
the darkness caved in on me. the pressure was even physical. why didn’t i break in half? that was all because of you. and even though i couldn’t see, you held your hand of protection over me. it was so dark but you gave me courage to reach out, to keep going, guided by the light inside of me: you. you are the only reason why i didn’t drown. just when i thought that my last hour had come; my lungs were about to explode.. it was just then that i broke the surface. my breakthrough designed by you. but i need you more than the air. i need you. need you. you.
jesus, the saviour, saved me. he did it for me and he can do it for you. and after is definitely so so much better.
